My name is Karyn, and I ask to speak to the manager.

I recently became aware that there is a meme about my name - well, a derivative thereof. Maybe you saw it: My name is Karen, and I want to speak to the manager.

Maybe you've seen it. Well, I'm a white, suburban mama, and I have no objection to "live * laugh * love" although I prefer the mantra "grateful * thankful * blessed". I have asked to speak to the manager Many times. The irony here is: the number one prevailing reason I ask to speak to the manager, is to pass along a compliment about the employee's level of service, and knowledgeableness.

That being said, in this past month,  I have:

Contacted customer service at Wal-Mart for a refund of a Wal-Mart pickup item I did not receive. Refund granted.

Contacted customer service at Wendy's about items not received in my pickup order. Funny story - the manager reached out to me, apologized, and offered me a free sandwich whenever I chose to come in and pick up the missing item. When I did go a few days later, they knew exactly who I was,  and filled my order right away. They were so pleasant and polite about the situation that I reached out to costumer service again, this time to compliment the staff of that Wendy's location.

Contacted customer service at Amazon to verify that a return had been received, and an email suggesting my card would be recharged had been sent erroneously. Granted.

Contacted Olive Garden and asked to speak to the manager about my to-go order,  which was missing my daughter's meal. And yes, I did express disappointment at the level of service, as  we also had needed to ask them to bring out missing drinks from the order. Unfortunately,  the rest of the order wasn't easily accessible enough for us to check that we'd received everything else until we'd returned home. I asked that the kids meal be refunded, and that I only be charged for the sprite that we did receive. The manager generously refunded the entire order.

And this morning, when asked for survey feedback about my Wal-Mart online ordering experience, I was not shy about expressing my displeasure with the glitchy app that prevented me from completing my order for over twelve hours,  resulting in a delay of more than 48 hours for me.

I believe in asking to speak to the manager. I believe in leaving good reviews, and sharing positive feedback. I also believe that it's okay for me to get what I have paid for, and for me to notify someone if there's a problem.

A good manager is a problem solver, and a facilitator. They make sure things run smoothly, and when things don't run smoothly, they sort things out. So, my name is Karyn, and this is me, saying thank you to the managers.

Let's be civil.

 Dear Stranger,

I recently heard a woman, whose professional career is being a YouTube influencer, mention a hateful comment someone had posted to one of her videos. She then went on to relate the experience of one of her friends, also a professional YouTube vlogger, who is being harassed online by someone who has created a Twitter account dedicated to the sole purpose of belittling and demeaning this woman. This is appalling.

It's possible that these hateful people would say hurtful and degrading things right to these two women's faces, but on the whole, I think not. I think it's possible, maybe likely, that in their real lives, these bullies would at the very least maintain a respectful silence on the perceived faults of others, and reprimand their children if they displayed similar vulgar behavior. Instead, so many people are using the impersonal glare of their computer or phone screens to distance themselves from the realities and consequences of their virtual abuse. In a way, this may be a more authentic and realistic glimpse into the true characters of these rude and inconsiderate posters, but I hope not.

The first meme I ever saw on the internet, long before I knew what a meme was, was a commentary on Barbara Streisand's nose. My immediate thought was, "Really? That's the first thing that would come out of your mouth if you were introduced to Ms. Streisand? Telling her you think her nose is too big? Well, That's more than a little rude."

Let's not be that way. Let's not contribute to the hate and cruelty of the virtual world - that world is a lot more real than you might think, and it's full of real people, with real feelings. Let's take a stand, and be firm in our determination to treat people with dignity and respect. Even those people who are not extending that same courtesy to us.

Thank you for making the world a better place.

Sincerely,

Karyn

A review of Elena L. Botelho and Kim R. Powell's book, The CEO Next Door

The CEO Next Door, by Elena L. Botelho and Kim R. Powell, calls to mind the title of Thomas J. Stanley's book, The Millionaire Next Door, so I was expecting it to be a little bit more of the same, possibly even in connection with the Millionaire series. I find myself enjoying The CEO Next Door more, because it focuses more on the habits and choices of the people who form the basis of the book. Where The Millionaire Next Door focuses more on specific attributes, and slightly unhelpful data about the consumption habits of millionaires, The CEO Next Door is somewhat more akin to The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People in that it is more principle-based.

I can almost imagine The CEO Next Door being presented in a business meeting; it has a clear, concise format, with main points, summaries, and even a flow chart of sorts. Each set of habits is stated in a concise way, followed by anecdotal and empirical evidence to support the assertion.

I guess I could argue that I'm co-CEO of my household, but the fact is, I haven't been "gainfully employed" for almost 10 years now, so this might seem like an odd choice of book for me to read. However, I selected it in part because my husband is in a managerial position at work, and I was curious about whether the book would have any good advice for him in his work, even though neither he nor I have CEO aspirations. The other reason I selected the book was to see if it had any helpful advice for me. After all, running a household does have some parallels to running a business.

I'm planning on having my husband read the book later, because I found it understandably more applicable to the workplace, but I did find value in the book for myself. I felt like it was a good read, and did not consider my time to have been wasted reading it.

A review of David Allen Sibley's postcard collection, Sibley: Birds of Land Sea and Sky

This collection of postcards by David Allen Sibley is easily one of my favorite things I've ever recieved in the mail. I could have reviewed it the minute I opened the box. The quality of the paper makes me feel all grown up and professional, and the artwork is like a gallery of fine art prints unto itself (which I'm sure it has been at one point). It made me want to frame them and put them on the wall.

The birds are absolutely gorgeous. The box separates the birds into five categories: waterfowl, woodpeckers, wading birds, songbirds, and owls and raptors; and there are really great examples of each one. I love that there is a very simple and clean look to all of the cards, but that the birds themselves contain the rich details of their models.

This book also has brownie points, because my mother is a bird-lover, and I have many memories of her pointing birds out to me on drives and in our own backyard. I have thus far sent her two postcards, each of which had personal meaning for me, because of our shared experiences. I absolutely love this postcard set. And, be real, postcards are just super fun.

I received this book from Blogging for Books in exchange for my review. This is my honest opinion about the book.

To people who need a lift

Dear Stranger,

Sometimes, we all feel a little blue. Or a lot blue. When I was sixteen, I wrote a poem, a refrain of which was:

I can't grow up, and I can't grow down.

I'm in too deep, and I'm going to drown.

I have bipolar disorder, most frequently manifested by long bouts of depression. I get feeling low. I truly appreciate the God-given talents of others to lift our souls. There are so many talented and brilliant people out there, y'all. I am sometimes blown away by how amazing people are. Like the people who designed the bed frames my girls use; assembly instructions: tighten two screws! That right there lifts my soul, and I'm not even being facetious.

Media can be so depressing, even destructive at times, but there are so many great things out there. My friend's mom once told him that he would never be "missing out" by avoiding dirty songs and movies - and whatnot - because he would never run out of things worthy of his attention. These are things I consider worthy of our attention, and soul-lifting:

The short film: Validation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao

Some people see goodness, and say goodness, and when that happens in our direction, it truly touches our hearts. The kindness of others can be a blinding light on the darkest night. I have been given this blessing so many times in my life; by friends and strangers. I love this short film about offering validation - and the love story is beautiful too.

The movie: Mom's Night Out

This movie is for every mother (or anyone, but especially relatable for moms and dads) who feels like they (and their best efforts) aren't enough. My husband and I always laugh really hard during this movie, but it always strikes a deep chord with us, because we can say "we've been there"...not so much the part about jail, or the baby in the tatoo parlor... :) Check this out from the library, buy it for $5 - the truth and affirmation in this film will speak to you.

The song: Nessun Dorma

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTFUM4Uh_6Y

I'm specifically referring to Pavarotti singing it, because that's my experience with it. The sweeping beauty of the orchestra, and this great man's voice, bring me closer to God.

The song: Glorious

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GytW_rgr0RM

Sometimes we don't feel like we're fitting in or have a purpose, or that we're loved. Stephanie Mabey and David Archulete remind us that we're all part of God's plan.

God loves us, and He gave us people in our lives to lift us and inspire us. More than that, He gave us His Son. I'm so grateful.

A review of Sakyong Mipham's book, The Lost Art of Good Conversation

I think people are getting rude. I don't notice this so much in conversations where the parties are physically present, though it does occasionally happen, I mostly see it online, particularly Facebook. People are anonymous so they can say angry, hurtful things, or make fun of others. Or, they are speaking to a faceless multitude, so they feel no need to moderate their opinions. I don't know the extent to which I do this. I haven't got much of an online presence; I usually just chat with Amazon reps when something goes wrong with my order. But I've deliberately attempted to switch my chats from I am a displeased customer and you need to fix this  to Something went wrong, and I'd really like your help figuring it out. So one reason I was interested in reading a book called The Lost Art of Good Conversation: A Mindful Way to Connect with Others and Enrich Everyday Life is: I'd love to see and be a part of the return of greater civility.

The second reason I wanted to read The Lost Art of Good Conversation was that during bipolar depressive episodes, it becomes difficult to engage in conversation. The simple acts of carrying on a dialogue, making eye contact, and paying attention are abrasive and overwhelming. Especially if it's a small child, who wants to crawl into my lap and get up in my face. I want my conversations to be more genuine, and come more naturally even during low energy times for me.



Did it work? Yes. I do think the book is helpful. I did pick up a few pointers and a few thoughts to ponder. In a way it was kind of a sticky read though: I couldn't read it for very long at a stretch without feeling like getting up and doing something else, and the language is a little flowery at times.

A lot of this book stresses mindfulness and meditation, focusing on the physical acts of the conversation, even to the point of including a chapter about breathing. There's a lot of advice on how to be mindful, and some warnings about what may happen if we are not:

When neither individual is willing to touch nowness, the conversation lacks dignity. It becomes habituated and superficial. Questions and answers become rote. Intriguing words become ordinary. (p. 41, pp. 2)

The book addresses the way we talk to different people, even going so far as to say that our interactions with the cashiers at the grocery store are important. Another chapter goes into the time and place of the conversation. When Sakyong Mipham suggested that walking while talking can facilitate a conversation, it brought to mind the many conversations I've had with my husband as we go on walks, and how the experiences are a treasure to me.

One thought I particularly enjoyed was about patience. Mipham said, "It is said that patience is the guardian of our good qualities." (p. 184 pp. 2) I love that thought, and it truly makes me want to be a more patient person. I certainly need my good qualities guarded, and I can see the truth in this statement.

This book has made me more aware of how I engage in conversation, and I can see some improvement in my interactions with others. I won't say that I suddenly feel up to the challenge of talking to people during severe depressive episodes, but the interactions I do have are more meaningful.

The book does have it's difficult moments; like a chapter that was advocating talking slowly, but wrapped up by mentioning how rapidly some cultures speak, and saying this was based on mindfulness and awareness. One paragraph that went beyond me was about wisdom:

Wisdom - that which never needs to be expressed - allows for conversation to occur. ...One can see words as expressions of wisdom, and wisdom as the element of the inexpressible in each word. ... Words are like wisdom expressing wisdom to itself. (p. 219, pp. 2)

Although this book could be a dry read at times, I do feel like my time was well spent in improving myself and taking the time to be more intentional about how I interact with others. The book didn't really delve into how we interact through texts and online communications, but there were plenty of thoughts that could be extrapolated. I do recommend this book if you're looking for an "improving book".

I received this book from Blogging for Books in exchange for my review. This is my honest opinion about the book. 

More info:

About the book: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/550804/the-lost-art-of-good-conversation-by-sakyong-mipham/

About the author: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/authors/68526/sakyong-mipham/

A review of Do One Thing Every Day That Makes You Happy journal

As a book title, Do One Thing Every Day That Makes You Happy is a mouthful. As an outlook on life, it's a really good one. I have bipolar disorder, which mostly manifests as depressive episodes. I understand a lot about not feeling happy. I've had bipolar disorder for long enough to recognize that I have a good life - a great life, a blessed life - even when I can't feel it. And I have learned to feel grateful even through the depression for the blessings. And to enjoy moments of happiness wherever and whenever I can get them. Even though no one can have a great day every day, or even all day for one day for every second of that day, there can be happy moments even on the saddest days.

Do One Thing Every Day That Makes You Happy focuses on small moments of gifts of happiness, drawing our attention to those times and helping us see the good. I like this book right from it's cheerful yellow color. The format of the book is fairly simple; there are quotes about happiness, or things that bring people happiness, or even just pithy in general, and then there are writing prompts. This is a small book (I'm guessing 6" tall,1"ish deep - the picture is almost actual size), there's not a lot of room to write. The benefit of this is to make us sum up a happiness, and focus more deeply. It helps us be mindful and intentional. We have to deliberately think of happiness and recognize it in our lives.

An example page from the journal reads:


A joyful and pleasant thing it is to be thankful.

Bible, Psalm 147

What made me thankful today:

                                 (unpaginated)

Only in the book it's written in orange, and a more fun font, and it's clear that their graphic designers care about their work, it's beautifully done. My response was:


My mom helping me clean my house and take care of my kids and God getting the van sorted out.


There should be a comma in there, but it's a journal, so I'm not going to beat myself up. My point is: In one sentence, grammatically correct or not, I just summed up blessings so huge just seeing it in small print made me see their enormity.

I don't write in this book every day, or most days, but I've had moments that I was in a terrible mood, saw the book and picked it up and chose an entry. This book is kind of buffet style, you just pick and choose whichever entry you want - I've skipped all over the place.

I can't say that I'm a fan of the come-back-later entries. One page prompted me to make up my mind to be (fill in the blank), and provided a list of attitudes (e.g. glad, jubilant, gleeful, content) to choose from. I usually journal at night, so this one required forethought - not that planning ahead is a bad thing, but I don't usually feel up to the extra step. Lazy, but true.

I like this book, and I think it's important, because we need to do our part to be happy, and not expect life to do all the work for us.

I received this book from Blogging for Books in exchange for my review. This is my honest opinion about the book. 

more info:

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/545009/do-one-thing-every-day-that-makes-you-happy-by-robie-rogge-and-dian-g-smith/

author bio:

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/authors/170809/robie-rogge/