To people who are feeling burned out.

Dear Fatigued Stranger,

I'm feeling it too. Like a wind-up toy losing power. Like a gerbil in a wheel. Like a playlist on repeat. You get the point. We're tired of the daily grind, and we feel like we can't keep going, but we have to: for work, for our kids, for our family, friends, spouses, random acquaintances or strangers asking us to support a cause. There are so many demands.

If you're feeling like a fire going out, it's time to bank the fire. Keep it low but alive. A man who has my deepest respect used an airplane analogy (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/of-things-that-matter-most?lang=eng): when we fly through turbulence, we sometimes think we should proceed full speed ahead and get it over with, but we really lessen the turbulence by slowing down. So just keep it simple. Don't do anything extra.

A friend needed my help last week. And I said no. This might have made me a terrible friend. Jesus gave us a phenomenal example of service and sacrifice. Shouldn't I have said yes to my friend? And I say "No." You cannot give what you do not have. If you ask me for a golden elephant the size of my head, I can wish and wish and wish I could give it to you, but I don't have one.

Say no to people. There may come a genuine emergency, and you cannot say no, but these are exceedingly rare. Say no to being busy and running around frantically. Realize that there are some essential things in life that cannot be ignored, but these also are not as numerous as we think.

So just wait. The time will come to say yes. The time will come to do more. I have lived long enough to know that somehow we'll get more firewood from somewhere - even if that takes awhile.

But for now, be still. Know that God is God.

A review of John Donvan and Caren Zucker's book, In a Different Key: The Story of Autism

When I decided to read In a Different Key, it was on a whim. I selected it sight unseen, and expected a quick, but thoroughly educational, read. In a Different Key is a tome. At 552 pages before the timeline, notes, bibliography, acknowledgements, and authors' note, it is a literally heavy read.

My first note is, that this is an obviously thoroughly researched book. The material comes from a wide range of sources, and covers a wide range of information.

Second, I learned a lot. In an age where a lot has been done to break down previous misconceptions and stigmas about disabilities, it can be easy to forget that truths we hold to be "self-evident" actually had to be fought for.

Third, it is repeatedly demonstrated that the passion and compassion of dedicated parents, and those who support them, have been the key motivating factors in improving the lives of those with disabilities - in this case, particularly those who have autism.

I didn't enjoy this book. It was a heavy read. Metaphorically as well. It's not pleasant reading about the conditions and experiences families and individuals were subjected to. I get that. But to me there was also a sense of scandal-mongering. Over and over again, I felt like it was "and here's our Hero...with one dirty little secret." With two outright, "Dun-duh-dun! He's really the Villain in Disguise!" moments thrown in there as well. A blurb by Washington Post on the cover touts the book as "chock full of suspense." I'm not so much looking for suspense from this book, as I'm looking for a clearer understanding of what autism is and more about the people who have the condition. Some of whom I know. Also, I did not enjoy the not infrequent use of offensive language - even in verbatim quotes I felt could have been paraphrased. This was ironic to me, as the authors were so conscientious and careful about trying not to offend others by their historic use of terms currently politically incorrect, such as "imbecile" and "moron." Another off-putting thing, for me, was the way the authors would start a topic, leave, and then come back a chapter later. One chapter talked about the vaccine-autism correlation study done by Andrew Wakefield, the next about a national organization of autism advocacy formed, followed by Villain Wakefield being exposed. It all ties in, in the end, but I found it wearisome.

And about learning a lot: I unquestionably did. But I feel like what I learned about, was more about the perceptions of autism than autism itself. Understandable, since a key point of the book was that autism has always been hard to define and diagnose, and that a lot of the time people are using the word to mean different things, while the masses assume they are talking about a unified whole.

I recommend this book to sociologists and historians. To the casual, even though interested, reader, I think it's a bit much.

I received this book from Blogging for Books in exchange for my review. This is my honest opinion about the book.