When I
read Gretchen Rubin’s famous book, The
Happiness Project, it changed my life. I don’t even remember most of her
points; what I do remember is one of her Rules for herself: Be Gretchen. It
means that even if everybody else does something a certain other way, or even
if we ourselves have visions of ourselves being something we’re not, we need to know who we are and be true
to that identity. Simple stuff, but life-changing. I can now
openly admit that I celebrated my fifth anniversary at Wendy’s because I wanted
to, and that candlelit dinners are just too dark, and I couldn’t eat in an
expensive dress because I’d spill on it – even though I have this image in my head
of tuxedos, chandeliers and candlelight.
I also
read Happier at Home, but in that
case all that lingered with me is the title. I need to be happier at home. Got
it. Actually, I felt like most of her book had been lifted from her blog. Which
I haven’t ever read, so this might just be me being judgmental.
I’ve
been thinking about habits for a long time now. Things I’d like to stop doing, things I’d like to start doing… Everybody has things they’re working on. So when I
learned that Mrs. Rubin has written a book about habits, I was immediately
interested. And I stayed interested, in spite of a few moments in the book that
seemed to go out too long, or be irrelevant, or not fit into the section of the
book they were in. I persevered through those brief moments of discord and
plowed through.
Here are some of my thoughts about the book:
It’s relevant. Mrs. Rubin herself posits the question,
paraphrased, “Why should anybody read this book if there isn’t a blanket
solution for everybody?” And her observation is spot on: because we can learn
from each other. Reading about the experiences of others gives context to my
own, and makes me think about things I wouldn’t necessarily be pondering
otherwise.
It’s not new stuff, but it’s valuable. With few exceptions,
what you’re reading is information you’ve probably heard before – like tracking
yourself, and external accountability. This book is basically a review of the
literature, with helpful personal anecdotes thrown in. And that’s the benefit.
Someone else, Gretchen Rubin, has tirelessly sifted through the literature and
compiled it in an easily digestible format. It’s as though we have a personal
assistant we’ve set to researching a topic that interests us, but that we can’t
be bothered to take the time to research on our own. Mrs. Rubin also exposes us to the
writings of others, such as Samuel Adams and Bertrand Russell, which is a treat
in and of itself.
It’s a place to start. Mrs. Rubin’s book is not an action
plan. It’s a menu. Here we can pick and choose, try or not try, decide what’s
for us. And us is important. That’s been a key point in each of these
self-improvement books. That when we understand ourselves we can make choices
that ultimately lead us to be happier, better people.
What didn’t I like about this book? Chiefly, that some of
the things that were presented as part of knowing yourself seemed like things
that ought to have been habits we are striving to change. Such as being a
procrastinator, or a night owl. A book of scripture particular to my personal
religion (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), the Doctrine and
Covenants, says straight out that we need to “cease to be idle… retire to thy
bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your
minds may be invorated.” (D&C 88:124). I also didn't like the occasional profanity, or brief references to sex. I felt they could have been omitted. That being said, please understand that I object to all profanity and casual discussion/mention of sex. This is not a trashy book.
I don’t always agree with her research, and I don’t always agree
with her conclusions, but that doesn’t change the fact that this book has already
helped me start my journey to being “better than before.”
I’m giving this book a gold star.
Want to know more about Gretchen Rubin? http://www.gretchenrubin.com/about/
Want to try before you buy? Read/listen to an excerpt; link on: http://gretchenrubin.com/books/before-after/buy-the-book/
I received this book from Blogging for Books in exchange for this review. This is my honest opinion about the book.
